DELUDED FATSO ☔

               At the age of 12, you just don’t know what to call that little attraction towards someone. Crush is too big of a word and ‘to like’ is too forward. To confront those feelings is too scary. You just happen to enjoy those butterflies, all like a giddy diddy.

The way you move is like a full-on rainstorm
And I’m a house of cards
You’re the kind of reckless
That should send me running
But I kinda know that I won’t get far

               I had friends, they loved me, helped me, I used to hang out with them, we were happy. I was the cute little girl good with grades and mates. He was the new guy in town and my class as well. He blended so well among us right from the very first day. He was intelligent, funny and just good. He quickly entered the teacher’s favorite list, by being all active in the curriculum and recreational activities.

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               You don’t notice the person until the person does something which nobody has done before for you. It all started with his kindness towards me. I was the one helping others whether in the assignments or assessments. I have never been helped before. Guess that’s why I fell. But again at the age of 12, you don’t call that falling in love. However yes it was different.

‘Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile.

               We became friends, good ones actually. We shared notes, books, studied together, I had no other expectations, guess that’s what a 12-year-old me was like. 2 Years passed and I started imagining what our lives would look like in future. Silly me I had dreamt a movie of us.

My mind forgets to remind me you’re a bad idea.

               Lately, there was something different about him as well. He smiled a little extra while talking, offered a little extra help. I even caught him staring at me sometimes during lectures. I thought maybe he too felt the same. Again the 14-year-old me shouldn’t be rushing into conclusions. However, if I had a wiser brain, I wouldn’t have ended broken.

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               The circle of rumors started. Mr. P had a crush on someone and was planning to ask her out. You know he told his friends about her, and they told their friends and as everyone was ‘friends’, well the news got around pretty well. At the whiff of it I was gleeful, but gradually I discovered the whole truth. Mr. P had a crush on my best friend, a really strong one. It all started making sense, the smile, the help. Those sneaky gazes during lectures were actually for her. Damn me, I should have been awarded ASS OF THE YEAR award.

               Well, I cried for like 2 hours alone, cursed myself for being naive and a duffer. I moved on.

Drop everything now,
Meet me in the pouring rain,
Kiss me on the sidewalk,
Take away the pain.

P.S. My best friend didn’t date him.

Quote Credits : Taylor Swift 

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